There was a void in my heart left by solace, and a longing for the unknown after the problems had subsided. We looked at the world with the eyes of those who wished not to leave it, especially if we were with it in a "state of reconciliation," breastfeeding one of her breasts with our mouths and feeling her other breast with our palms, out of an abundance of love and desire to stay. And I felt at that time that my heart was pinned to a target, and that any throw, even a clumsy one, would surely hit it right in the heart. It was summer, and most of the employees were on vacation when he walked in on me. The courier asks permission from a woman who wants to meet me.. and I automatically grant her permission. I saw the hem of her black dress as she was entering the door. When I looked up, I saw nothing in her face of what she expected. She could not imagine that she was in need, nor could she imagine that she was in a financial crisis. Rather, she was immediately judged to be a woman of average condition and beauty. She was on her way to the port or the station to bid farewell to her dear lover, and the train moved, or the steamer took off shortly before her arrival, and she made her way back home, with grief and distraction crushing her beauty.